Wow, it's December!

My poor neglected blog...  I promise to get back into blogging.  I have 6 weeks annual leave from work just as soon as I finish the 3 nights I'm about to embark upon.  During that time, I'll keep you updated on my activities!

I need to fill in some space for you.  Last time I blogged, it was November!  I am at my goal weight, with a healthy BMI!!  Round 3 finished a couple of weeks ago, and last weekend we had the Group Workout and Finale party.  OMG, what a magical weekend it was!  I went to Sydney with a very special chick, who has been a part of my life for over 20 years now.  We have shared a lot of stuff, most relevant to this journey, we got fat together, and now we've lost it together too!  

In other exciting news, we both got a tattoo in Sydney!  We had initially planned on it, but then didn't think we'd have enough time.  As fate would have it, on the Friday after we landed, we wandered up the road to a wine bar (as you do!) and when we looked across the road, we saw the very Tattoo shop that we'd spoken about.  Fast forward 24 hours, after an exhilarating Group workout, we were there!

This is the end result...  I love it so much.  Mine is self explanatory, and my BFF's is the Libran symbol, which is all about balance.

I am tossing up whether to sign up for Round 1 2012.  If I do it, I'll be doing either Lean and Fit, or Lean and Strong.  I'm leaning towards L&S, as my knee is injured, and the idea of less cardio is appealing.  I'll make up my mind in the next few days, and if I commit to L&S, I'll lose another few kg over the "off season" so that my transformation into a "ripped machine" is more defined!

I'll leave you with a pic that we took with Mish.  We walked into the venue and saw Mish standing pretty much alone, so we wandered over, and I showed her my tattoo.   She said, "Holy shit, is that real?"  I assured her it was, and she touched it.  Then she let out a big breath and said, quietly, "Fuuuuuck".  Made me LOL.   And then we got this pic.  I love it!

Oooh, I forgot to add...

That my wedding and engagement rings fit me again!  I refused to get them resized, once I got too fat to wear them.   A few weeks ago, I tried them, and they fit but felt super tight.  A week ago, I put them on, and Hello!  They fit!  The Hubmeister reckons that this means that we are newlyweds again, and thus, we need to book in some newlywed action at every available opportunity!  I love that he now ogles me like he did when we were 20-somethings.  How exciting, to have found a new spark in a nearly 15 year old marriage!!

It's been a while!

Wow... my poor old blog!  I've neglected you, big time!  A lot has been happening, some good, some bad, some totally fricken awesome!

I did the 10km Fun Run!  I ran the whole way, and completed it with a very mediocre time, but it doesn't matter!  I felt 10 feet tall, and bulletproof as I crossed the finish line.  Very addictive stuff!  I have to share that, as I turned the corner and came into the home straight, with the finish line in sight, my iPod (which was on Shuffle) started playing Lady Gaga's "Edge of Glory" which has always been a very inspiring song for me.  I ran that last little bit with tears streaming down my face as I thought of everyone who had helped me to get this far.  People cheered as I crossed the line, and one sweet stranger came up and high-fived me, and I knew I'd startle her if I turned around and hugged her, but that's what I felt like doing.  At many points during the run, I thought about stopping to walk for a while.  Especially, when some moron volunteer announced that I'd just passed the halfway point (and I was soooo sure I was closer to finishing than that!).  Whenever I thought about walking, I imagined Mish was beside me, telling me that I could slow to a shuffle, but I was not to stop, under any circumstances.  I also thought of all the beautiful members of my support crew, who have encouraged me along the way.  A comment here and there, an email, my amazing hubby who has allowed me to take all the time I need to get to this point, etc.  My middle son, did the 5km run, so we bonded over the run, got to share the emotion and all the hype!  Not to mention the training that we did together.  Well, sort of together... he's pretty fast, so I chose to run around the lake with him, so that he could dash off ahead and I could still keep an eye on him!

The race was on Sunday, and on Tuesday I went to see a physio about some knee pain that had been bothering me for months.  As a nurse, I usually go in with "worst case scenario" in my head.  This time, I thought it was minor.  He informed me that he thinks it's a meniscal tear, which could require surgery, and 6 weeks of rest.  OMG!  I'm not convinced, and am waiting on an MRI to either confirm or deny.  I'm just having to be creative with my training in the meantime.

My weight loss has slowed a bit, and I'm sure that this comes from getting uber close to goal, and I've allowed a few treats to sneak in here and there.  I still have my eyes on the prize, and nothing will stop me from getting there, but I'm happy to just cruise into goal now, as I'm super happy with my weight and the way I look.

The next step is the INK.  OMG!  I hate tattoos.  As a nurse, I've seen a lot of them, and most of them are pretty fricken ridiculous.  The most freaky one was when we were wrapping up someone who had died, and he had a date tattooed on his ankle.  The date was exactly 30 years prior to the date of his death.  <insert spooky music>  However, I want and need a permanent reminder of what I did to myself to get obese, and what I did to earn it all back again.  Something permanent to remind me that I'm never going back there, and that I'm so proud of myself for regaining control.  Stay tuned!  I'll share a pic when it's done.  My BFF, who has walked many a mile in my shoes, both the heavy and the HOT, is going to share the whole inking thing with me, and I can't wait!!

The last 5kg!

I'm finally there!  I have less than 5kg to go until my goal weight.  4.8kg to be exact.  It's so close now!!   I lost 2.4kg this week, but a good deal of that is probably due to the gastro that I had yesterday.  Ugh, it wasn't fun.  Two of my kids have had it this week, so I should have expected it.  I don't usually pick up gastro though, and I reckon I've only had two bouts of it as an adult.  Yesterday's was a ripper.  The kind where you lie motionless because as soon as you move, the room spins, your bowel cramps and your stomach starts to heave.  I had a few hours around dinner time where I thought I was on the mend, but as I lay on the couch to watch Rafters, it all came rushing back.  Vomiting violently whilst sitting on the loo is NO fun!  Anyway, it meant that the scales were very kind to me today.  I'll just have to work hard this week to make sure that next weigh in isn't disappointing.  LOL

I had a huge milestone achievement this week.  I bought some gorgeous bathers online, which is always risky.  When they got here, I tried them on and not only did they fit perfectly, they are very flattering and I would actually feel very confident wearing them in public, with no need for board shorts or any "disguises"!  I bought a cute little "cover up" thingy to wear over them to and from the pool/beach, and all in all, I'm thrilled with them.  Usually wearing bathers is an exercise in self-loathing.  Not anymore!

PB!

Tonight i ran for 8km on the treadmill!  I never thought I could run 200 metres, let alone 8km!  I just love it, and my body is adapting, the clever thing!  I used to be really sore after a long run, but this past week?  Nothing!  I think my body is expecting it.  I've asked a lot from it in the past few months.  I'm like, "Yeah, I know I've sat you on the couch for the past 12 years, and I've fed you whatever we felt like, and never got above a slow walk, but, hey, how about we NOW get moving again and I'm gonna deny you anything that you're craving".  My body has risen to the challenge, and I'm so proud of it!

I'm going to slowly up the distance, as I head into my Fun Run season.  I have the Bendigo Bank 10km at  the end of Oct, the City to Sea in Nov, and I'm doing a 6km run in January.  I can't describe the way I feel when I run.  I think it's just that I've always aspired to be a "runner".  I love the lean, fit physique that runners have, as well as the awesome feeling that it must be to know that your body is capable of covering such distance.

I'm keen to weigh in on Wednesday.  I've lost 5kg thus far into my second round of 12wbt.  I'd lost more at this point last round, but I realise that it gets harder to lose it, as you get fitter and closer to your goal.  My goal is at the upper end of my healthy BMI.  I could probably lose more past this point, but if it happens, it happens.  I'm not gonna get stupid about it.  I already feel amazing, but don't want to use that as an excuse.

I'm gonna do 50 laps of the pool tomorrow.  My hubby told me tonight that his PB was 60 laps.  Of course, I aim to beat that, in a few weeks!  I used to swim all the time before I had kids, and I loved it.  My gorgeous daughter has been churning up the laps with me, over the school holidays.  I hope that, when she's old enough, we'll be going to the gym together.

Yay!

I mentioned a plateau-buster in my last post.  Woo Hoo.  2.1kg gone this week.  I knew it!  I was feeling very trim, very bony etc.  I am loving my time at the gym, and when people mention that it's not "sustainable" I have to question why they say that.  Some days I'm only there for an hour, other days I'm there for 4 hours.   I only work two days per week, and my kids are all at school.  I have time on my hands, so what else would I be doing.  Housework?  Overrated!  Making cards?  Haven't done that since May, don't miss it.  I find that if I put the effort in when I have the time, I'm a much nicer, happier, fitter person when I'm  not there!

I need to vent about my MIL.  She seems to be my biggest saboteur.  I know she'd be horrified to hear that, but it's true.  When I'd lost 8kg, with 27kg+ to go, she was telling me to stop!  A few days ago, she was coming around to pick up my kids for an sleepover.  She's wonderful to me, in so many ways, and yet....  I answered the door in my gym gear, as I was going there as soon as the kids were picked up.  Her reaction.  She laughed hysterically.  And laughed and laughed and laughed.  She said, "Sorry, but you're looking too 'sporty'".  I didn't respond (as I was pissed off) and she admitted that it made her feel bad to see me looking so fit, she felt bad that she wasn't.  Finally!  She admitted what I suspected all along.  Don't bother to project you issues onto me, I'm finally dealing with my own issues, and I'm doing quite nicely, thank you!

Summer is looming...

...bring it! I used to hate summer. Combine baring rolls of flab with horrid chafing = nightmare for the fat girl. This year, I'm craving some warm weather. I now feel the cold, I have a body that I'm happy to bare, and I hope that my chafing thighs are a thing of the past. I have yet to test this theory, so stay tuned! I had a very small loss last week, and was feeling crap. However, this week I have fitted into previously too tight clothing, and have had a lot of "have you lost more weight?" comments. I'm hoping that my mega exercise regime has finally smashed this plateau in the arse. I soo love my hubby. He told me that it's like he's having an affair, with a hot new chick. However, his "smokin ' new date" is his wife of nearly 15 years! Last night I was cutting some moves on the dance floor, while he watched. Later, he told me that I have "awesome back muscles". I never thought to look there! Last time I looked, I had back fat, so I'm very pleased. I love my new life. Honestly, nothing tastes as good as "fit" feels. Stuff skinny, I just wanna be lean and fit.

PS

I discovered today, that I need a mat beneath me when I stretch or do Pilates.  My newfound bones dig into the floor and actually hurt.

Woo fricken hoo!

Rockstar!!

That's me.  I'm a Rockstar!  4 months ago, I joined the gym, aiming to do some classes in order to mix it up a bit.  It took me another month to actually summon up the nerve to walk into the group fitness classroom, and then it was with a girlfriend at my side.

Today, for my SSS, I went in there, with two GF's, to do 4 classes back to back.  I woke up this morning feeling a bit nervous.  What was I on about?  It was easy.  Well, maybe not easy.  I had sweat slicking my  hair to my neck, and I couldn't feel my toes at one point.  However, we proved that we are strong, capable women who can do anything we put our minds to.  4.10 hrs later, and 1523 calories gone.

My next milestone is to conquer the 10km Fun Run at the end of October.  2 weeks after that I have a 14km run in Melbourne.

Who knew that this couch potato would be putting herself out there and living an active life?

I sort of thought that everyone was used to my new self, but today, 4 different people asked me if I'd lost more weight.  I can feel my face is more defined, and I think that my boobs are finally shrinking.  I'm still a bit sick of defending myself.  People keep asking if I'm done losing weight, and I smile firmly and tell them that my BMI still classes me as "overweight".  I need to stop listening to these people.  Even my gorgeous hubby asked me if I only had "about 2 more kilos" to lose.  Bwahahahaha.  No, my love.  Try 11kg.  Compared to where I was, I would probably be happy here, but since I'm such an "all or nothing" sort of person, I strive to achieve my goal.  And achieve it, I will!

I was rude...

... to my mother-in-law!

I sorta knew it was coming.  I hadn't seen her since late June, so I'd only lost 9kg or so.  She told me back then that I "didn't need to lose any more weight". Hello 22+kg and I knew she'd have something to say.  Predictably, she marveled at my weight loss, then told me to stop now.  When I said that I still have a way to go, she gave me the deep, intense eye contact stare, and said, "Really?".  As though I have  a problem!  I matched her stare and said, "Really!  I'm still overweight, according to my BMI.  When I get back to "normal", I'll be sure to let you know, and then I'll stop losing and start maintaining".

Honestly...  I know that it's more about her issues than mine.  I also know that, due to loose clothing, some people didn't realise that I have so much weight to lose.  However, I am pretty fricken far from anorexic.  Check in with me when my collar bones can shave ice.  Then we'll talk.  At the moment, I'm flat out rediscovering those bad boys!

Oh no!

So, after a few niggling aches and pains, I think that the time has come to seek treatment, and that I might actually be injured.  Goddamit!  I've been ramping up the running program for the past 6 weeks.  I did the C25K up until Week 5, and once I could run for 20 mins straight, I put myself onto the EI10K in order to prepare for the 10km run that I was "bullied" into signing up for!  That's on Oct 30th, so I need to get cracking.

Today was such a beautiful day that I decided to go run outdoors.  I need to do more of these, as running on the treadmill is SOOOO much easier than actually running outside in the real world.  Yesterday at the gym I noticed a pain in my left shin as I ran.  It went away very quickly after stopping, so I didn't give it another thought.  Today, when I ran outside, it nearly crippled me.  I kept going, to a degree, then decided to just power walk the rest of the run.  I still did 9.5km in total, and burnt a load of calories, but I'm concerned.

I've had shin splints before, and this feels different.  I'm going to run in the pool tomorrow, to give it a rest.  I might even try to cut a few laps!  I used to swim, swim, swim, but the last time I tried it, I was fat and unfit and nearly died halfway down the 50m lane.  I'll be interested to see how I go, actually.

Hopefully, it's just a teething pain and with a couple of days of rest, it'll settle down.  I, perhaps, need to remember that I am 40 now, and not a teenager anymore, regardless of how amazing I feel these days.  Most "older" people I hear about who run, say that they need a rest day in between runs in order to avoid injury.  Why did I think I could run 6 days per week?

I hope that the rest of my 12wbt family had great results today.  I dropped a further 1.4kg and am thrilled.  I thought that I had 15kg to go to my goal, but due to pre-season and my ingrained exercise habits, I've only got 11.9kg to go!

I'll try to run again on Friday.  If it's still bad, I'll go back to the awesome Sport's Physio that I saw a couple of years ago when I had a stress fracture in my foot.  He'll sort me out!

My brain needs to keep up!

So, the other day I stumbled across a very quirky, gorgeous dress online.  I thought to myself that this would be an awesome dress to wear to my gorgeous friend's 40th birthday on October 1st.  So, I bought it.  After checking the sizing guidelines, but failing to check measurements, I ordered the L.

It arrived yesterday, and I love it.  Finally got around to trying it on today and it's too big.  It will be horrendously too big by October 1st.  I'll have to send it back!  It's such a beautiful dress that I doubt if they'll have any M available.  But I'll try.

My brain needs to stop thinking that I'm the big girl.

Who knew??

That I could take the "Advanced option" in all my  classes??  I certainly didn't know!

Tonight, at Step, the instructor was demonstrating some VERY high impact stuff.  As a group, we must have looked like stunned mullets, as she asked WTF was going on!  Once I believed in myself and gave it a shot, I was very comfortable with it.  So far removed from the old me!

I am absolutely loving Step classes.  I loved them back when I was a skinny biartch, and I now love them again.  Massive calorie burner, and sometimes I feel like I'm at a nightclub, dancing my arse off!

Step and running have been my new addictions.  I ran 5.3km on the treadmill tonight, before my two classes.  I am slow.  Mega slow, but that can only improve. I ran with a friend on Saturday, and I blamed the alcoholic drinks I'd had the night before as my excuse, but now I reckon that I burnt out, as she was just a lot faster than me.  I will improve, but at the moment, I'm just trying to cover the distance.  I'm currently running at 8.0km/hr for 40 mins.  I hope to get to 10kms under 60 mins eventually.  Dear Lord, I remember when I couldn't even run for 60 seconds without feeling like I was gonna die!

Round 3... let's go!

I am so super pumped for Round 3, 2011.  It started today.  I was a tiny bit slack in between the two rounds (food, didn't slack off on exercise for one second), but I'm back baby!  I used to wear scrubs at work that were a size XL.  I bought a Medium size a while ago, but they only arrived 2 weeks ago.  The top was fine, but the bottoms were a little snug.  This week, they are loose.  Love it!

I am increasing my running distance, gradually, and I feel like my running sessions are giving me the best results to date.  I also love me a BodyStep class.  I had a friend stop me, mid sentence, last week to comment on my calves!  I was rapt.  I also am loving the very new sensation of feeling my bones re-emerge.  Can't wait for December/late Nov, when I reach my goal.  I might be "done" with the 12wbt by then, or I may have become more addicted and feel the need to enrol in Lean and Strong.  Doubt it though, as I'd rather be fit than ripped!  Never say never!

Wow!

Round 3 of the 12wbt will start on Monday, and I'm so excited!  I did my fitness test today, and I was absolutely blown away.  When I started Round 2, I couldn't run for 60 seconds without stopping, gasping!  I did 45 seconds as my wall-sit.  I think I did 12 push ups.  I did 8 mins 45 seconds as my 1km time trial.

At Week 8, my results told me that I was now "Intermediate".  At the Finale workout, they asked for people from Intermediate to try out "Advanced".  NO WAY!  Today, just 4 weeks after that day, I did another Fitness Test.  OMG, I'm "Advanced" in every category.  My daughter was blown away, as I did it with her last time.  She couldn't believe how quickly I'd advanced.

Having said that, I've been busting my butt at the gym 6 days per week, and I've earned this.  It still seems weird, as I've never been "athletic" or "fit".  I'm the girl who can't run, and is a couch potato in my head.

I'm very proud of the fact that, as a 40 year old (did I say that out loud??) I'm fitter than I was at 30.  Even 25 perhaps?  I was skinny at 25, but not fit.

In other news, I'm over my rant from the other day.  Their problem.  This is MY journey, not theirs.  I also need to let it go when I hear of people who are doing the 12wbt but are not prepared to do it properly.  That's their issue, not mine.

My tally is standing at 21.3kg lost as of yesterday.  My confidence is soaring, my self esteem is back where it should be, and I feel pretty fricken amazing!  I like what I see in the mirror, and more importantly, I FEEL great.  No more breathlessness on stairs, my resting heart rate is bradycardic, and (apart from some training aches and pains) I feel like  a teenager!  WTF didn't I do this years ago?  Because I wasn't ready to hear it.  That's why.  

Grrrrr

I'm feeling a little cranky today.  I guess it had to come, but I wasn't prepared for this just yet...  I'm starting to get loads of comments about how I "surely don't need to lose any more weight".  In the scheme of things, it's sort of a compliment I guess, but it makes me feel angry.  I know that it's more about the person who says it than it is about me (ie, their own body image issues) but I am getting sick of it.

Here are the facts.  Yes, I've lost 20kg.  BUT, I was 35kg overweight for God's sake.  You do the math.  My BMI still puts me in "Overweight" category.  

So, I don't care if me losing weight is confronting to anyone else, I'm going to keep going until my BMI within the healthy weight range.

Vent over...  back to normal transmission...

20kg gone, and 10 years, apparently!

I've reached a big milestone!  20kg gone!  I used to imagine what it would be like to wear nice clothes, like who I saw in the mirror, reclaim my life... now I'm doing all those things and more.

I worked tonight, and worked with a colleague who I haven't seen in a while.  As soon as she walked into the tea room, her jaw literally dropped and she said, "Fark (she's Irish!) what's going on?  You're fading away!".  I told her what I'd been doing, and she was so thrilled for me.  She kept staring at me over the next 8 hours, and at the end of the shift, she came up and hugged me and said that I look at least 10 years younger.  I was blown away, and a bit emotional!

I don't know if I've mentioned here, but I a month or so ago, I signed up for a FunRun sponsored by my employer.  I was going to sign up for the 5km run, but a colleague talked me into signing up for the 10km.  At the time I thought it was ages away and I'd be right.  I really only started taking running seriously after I did this.  In the past few weeks, I've had my doubts that I'd be able to do it, even though I kept feeling stronger and stronger with my running.  I've heard many people say that running on the treadmill is much easier than road running, so I was doubting myself.  Today, it was such a glorious day here, that I thought it'd be the perfect day to get outdoors and run.  I mapped out a 7km course via the website MapMyRun.  I totally amazed myself by being able to run it, non-stop!  Took me a bit over 50 mins.  And I was worried that I couldn't run 10 mins!!  The longer I ran, the more empowered and pleased with myself I was, so I just kept going.  I am in no danger of breaking any land-speed records, but I did it!

Wow, I'm a runner!

I've been doing the C25k running program for a few weeks now, and today's run called for 20 whole minutes of running - no walking in between. I've never done that before- the most I'd done prior to today was 8 mins at a time. I was thinking that I'd struggle... Guess what? I smashed it! Felt so comfortable and easy that I actually managed 28 mins before I did 1 minute of walking, then ran for another 10! OMG! I feel 10 foot tall and bullet-proof tonight!

Hello triceps!

Wow... Upped my weights at gym yesterday and my triceps are killing me today. Either that, or it was the "speed ball" moves in Body Combat that have made me wake up sore.

The bloody scales didn't move today. :-( Don't know if it was the wine last week, or maybe just a bit of a plateau. Either way, I'm glad they didn't move up! Just have to keep putting one foot in front of another and be super clean with my eating.

Totally pumped!

So, after coming home from the high of the Finale party and workout, I have to admit that I let my guard down a bit. I don't think it shows on the scales, but I had 3 nights in a row where I drank wine after dinner. Not large amounts, but all of a sudden I stopped and realised that I was becoming complacent and starting to let old habits drift back in.

I stopped right then, and won't let that nasty little habit back in, thank you very much.

I was feeling positive about Round 3, which starts in September, but was lacking the absolute excitement and focus that I had prior to Round 2. I guess I was too caught up in celebrating my losses in Round 2, to look forward to the task ahead. Then, last Friday, something just clicked. Unlike last Round, when I was uncertain that I would stick to it, get results etc, this time I'm going into it KNOWING exactly what I have to do to reach my goal. AND I'm going into it a totally different person than I was last time. This time, I'm happy, positive, empowered and like what I see in the mirror.

My husband has been my biggest supporter - always allowing me time to train, day and night. Today, he saw me wearing my new 3/4 jeans and fist pumped the air, announcing "She's back, baby!" He's so sweet...

I'm eating clean, training like a mongrel, and I'm so excited to jump into the next 14 weeks!

I hurt...

Holy crap I'm sore... I haven't had this level of DOMS since the first workout I did a few days before Round 2 commenced! Mostly, it's due to the Group workout in Brisbane, with the rest of the 12wbt family. OMG, it was great. The atmosphere was insane, and the weather was glorious. I burnt 680 calories, but left feeling as though it wasn't too hard.

Fast forward to Sunday morning and I was in pain. Arms, chest (loads of push ups), thighs and hips all groaning. By this morning (Monday) my upper body had gone back to normal, but my thighs were still sore. I had Sunday as my rest day, so was straight back into it today. I can't do my SSS on a Saturday, so I tend to do it on a Monday. Today, I did a mega session, and now I wonder if I'm going to be able to even get out of bed tomorrow! Here's what I did today: C25K Week 3 Day 2 around the reservoir in the glorious sunshine = 401cals, then tonight I went to the gym and did C25K Week 3 Day 3, 15 mins on the cross trainer, then a 50 min Step class, followed by a 45 min Pilates class = 1222 cals. So, all up I burnt 1623 cals today! I'm feeling very stiff tonight.

I'm so excited that 7 of my friends have now joined Round 3. I hope they all have amazing success. I often feel that I would love to be able to bottle how I feel right now. I hope they get to feel it too.

A few milestones to celebrate!

I am the first to admit that my self esteem has been at an all time low for quite a while now. I was too scared to join a gym. Then, once I overcame that, I was too scared to do a group fitness class. Then, once I overcame that, I was too scared to run on the treadmill in front of everyone. Then, once I overcame that, I was too scared to take off my T-shirt.

Well, I have smashed all those fears. I'm at the gym 6 days per week. I take classes whenever I can. I am doing the C25K program on the treadmill, and rocking it. And today, I wore a singlet and was NOT self conscious of my arms, as they are now no longer hideous! I have a, relatively, little tummy and waist, so I deserve to wear a singlet. Sure, my arms and hips still need work, but I am travelling a whole lot better than 50% of the girls at the gym, and this gives me confidence. None of us are there to show off, we're all there to try to be a better version of ourselves, so why should I keep being so hard on myself?

I wore the singlet in front of the kids, and Lara said, "I love that singlet" which was a massive thumbs up for me. If my teenage daughter approves of me wearing a singlet, I've gotta be happy, right??

Lord, it feels good to feel good. I can't believe that I felt like shit for so long, and did nothing about it. I feel like grabbing every sweet friend who is overweight and shoving this program down her throat, but I know that everyone has to find their own way here. God knows I had enough attempts before I was finally ready to do what it takes. In fact, I read Mish's CrunchTime books back in March, when my weight was probably at an all time high, and I thought, "OMG, she's too black and white, so harsh". It wasn't until a sidebar popped up on Facebook, I think it was, and I went to investigate the 12wbt, co inciding with turning 40, that something clicked. And clicked it has. I can't imagine not burning off 500+ calories per day, or eating clean.

People keep asking me about my "secret". I tell them, that it's what we know we all should do. Eat less, move more. Simple as that. I think though, that each person has to reach their own personal "low" in order for this mindset to kick in.

Week 12 Round 2.

Well, today was the final weigh-in for Week 12. My official stats are: 16.7kg lost, 54cm total gone from body, and a truckload of emotional baggage gone! We still have the rest of the week (until Sunday) on the program, so I'll weigh in again on Sunday and see what the tally for the full 12 weeks is.

I took my "after" pic today, and on first glance I thought "well that's not much different" but when I put them side by side I was blown away. And a little emotional!

There's about 4 weeks until Round 3 begins, and I don't plan to relax my diet or exercise one little bit. I've been constantly ramping up the training side of things, so that's gotta speed things up.

Inner Mongrel Monday

In the 12wbt we have names for certain days of the week. Tuesday is "Accelerator" day, where no simple carbs are consumed. Saturday is "SSS" which translates to Super Saturday Session, and Mondays are called "Inner Mongrel Monday", where you unleash your inner Mongrel and work out like a demon! I did just that tonight. 1175cals burnt in the gym, and I got to connect with a couple of friends, as well as meet up with a new 12wbt friend.

In other breaking news, I appear to be developing collar bones! Yes, they've always been there, but now I can JUST see them starting to emerge from underneath the fat that once was there. Woo fricken Hoo!

Sunshine-y day!

It's a beautiful day here today. I can't wait for the weather to start warming up, especially since I'll have a whole new wardrobe by summer! I'm only buying very inexpensive items, and even then, not many things. Just to get me through until I get to my goal, and I can buy a permanent wardrobe! Luckily (is one way to look at it) I've been various sizes over the years, so I do have a few smaller sized clothes already. I'm on this program for life now, so I know that I'll never need the bigger clothes again, so as I reach a smaller size, I'm throwing out ALL the fat clothes. I've kept them in the past, but now, if my clothes start to get tight, it's not going to be as easy as reaching into the back of the cupboard for the bigger size. NO! If they get tight, I need to get off my arse and do something about it, or face the humiliation of going out and buying a bigger size.

Did another massive session in the gym today. Feels amazing. Did 10mins bike, 15 mins x-trainer, then did Body Step for an hour. Sweated up a treat in there, it was a great workout. Then, since I didn't really have anywhere to be, I jumped back on the x-trainer for another 15 mins. Look at me! I'm an exercise junkie! Who knew??

In other news, I'm very thankful for good friends. I wasn't involved in, but was supporting someone who was, some ridiculous nastiness this week. From grown women (mothers!) who should know better. Life's too short for this sort of crap. I don't know how some people sleep at night, but that's their cross to bare. I know I sleep well, especially comfortable in the knowledge that I make an effort to banish troublemakers and drama queens from my life.

Have a great day!

Yay for eating clean!

Woo Hoo! Even though I only got to the gym 2 days last week, I kept my eating squeaky clean and I lost 1.2kg this week. That brings my total to 14.5kg.

I was fitting into the occasional size 14, but now if you throw anything 14 at me it fits and even may be a bit loose! I've gone down a bra size too! Very happy to drop some poundage from the cans.

In even more exciting news, my back is almost better and I've been putting in some great gym sessions since Monday. I am very excited to report that a few weeks ago, I got on the X-trainer for the first time and only managed 2.5mins before I was done. In my defence, I had just put in 1.5hours of cardio work on the bikes and treadmill. Today, after 15 mins on the bike, I got on the X-trainer again and it was hurting, but I got into the zone and was up to 15 mins with my HR over 170, and I only got off because it was time for my class to start. Jesus. The class is another story of blood, sweat and tears. I was the only "new girl" and the instructor gave me permission to have a rest now and then, but that made me all the more determined not to. I even did ALL the jumping jacks while I saw others were taking the low impact option!! I left there, totally spent, having burnt over 900cals, feeling very proud of myself.

I read an article in the Women's Weekly today, about Michelle Bridges. I got a bit teary, actually. I can honestly credit Mish with changing my life. I have self esteem again, I feel like I'm 30 again, I am feeling so strong and fit. And I owe it all to her. Of course, I've done the hard yards and made the changes, but she's the one who has given me the tools to do this. I will sing her programs praises forever now. I am a huge advocate of the "whole shebang" approach. I've tried diet by itself, I've tried exercise by itself. The thing that appealed to me about her program was that it combined diet, exercise, and mindset sorting. I still go back and listen to her podcasts and mindset lessons if I'm feeling a bit blah. It makes so much sense and it just works.

I have to write it all here as it's sort a like a diary. I can't talk to too many people, outside the 12wbt forum, about this as it comes off all preachy and cult-like. I love the program, it's working for me, and I am so freakin' happy!

Hey, hey, I'm back so soon!

Look at me! Two posts in one week! Unfortunately I may be blogging more and exercising less for a day or so. I hurt my fricken back again, and it's spasming all the way down my legs. So, I'm bed/couch bound for a day or so. Ugh...

In brighter news, I lost another 1kg this week, so my total climbs to 13.3kg. Mish assures me that if I keep eating clean, I'll still lose weight without the exercise, so let's hope so!

Been a while!

God I'm slack at blogging! Never mind, I'm here now.

Total weight loss tally currently sits at 12.3kg, but it's weigh in day on Wednesday, so I'm hoping to bring it closer to 14kg.

I am loving this program, and loving the changes that it's bringing about. Not just the physical changes, but the mindset changes, and the self esteem changes. I definitely wanted to "lose weight" but I didn't expect to enjoy exercise as much as I am, or to be so thrilled by how fit and strong I'm becoming.

I've started attending classes at the gym, and I am fast becoming addicted to them. My good friend, Neroli, and I were both hesitant to do a class, as we were too intimidated. Once we admitted that to each other, we declared that we'd do them together. So, we're currently working our way through the class timetable, trying them all. She's a skinny little thing, so is only interested in a couple of classes each week, whereas, I'm at the gym 6 days of the week! I love the fact that tonight, we took on a Step class aimed at "intermediate to advanced" and we rocked it. Around us, people were stopping, having a rest, doing the low impact options, and we just powered through it! I used to be the one having a rest!! Massive milestone for me!

I also didn't realise how much I'd love weight training. I love feeling strong, feeling my my muscles get more defined, and gradually increasing the weights at the gym.

And finally, I signed up for a 10km Fun Run. OMFG! I used to declare, loudly, that the words "fun" and "run" shouldn't be used in the same sentence! However, I know that running is one of the best forms of exercise. You get the most bang for your buck, so to speak. So, I'm trying to get better at it. I felt that I needed a goal to work towards. Perhaps 5km may have been a safer bet, but I caved in the face of peer pressure and JFDI. I'm so excited. I don't care about finishing times etc, I just want to finish. If I have to walk some of the way, I don't care. I have 15 weeks to get my shit together, so it's absolutely do-able.

Oh, and I should mention that I had to dress up to go to the theatre on Sat night. Before 12wbt, the thought of getting dressed up sent me into meltdown, as I was confronted with how big I was, and how few clothing choices I had. On Sat night, I had few choices again, but for a different reason. I've been purging all my fat clothes, and I don't want to buy too much until I reach my goal. However, I bought a size 14 tight black skirt a couple of years ago, when I was doing Bootcamp. It didn't quite fit me at the time, but it was on sale, and I aimed to get into it. I never did... On Sat night, I grabbed it out of the wardrobe, and hello, it fit like a glove! Love, love, love this program!

WTF!

I now sound like I've joined a cult, and my mantra is "Mish says...x", "Michelle reckons...x". I need to shut my mouth and zip it. Sure, I have a new mindset that makes perfect sense, and I know I'll never go back to where I was, but, Jesus, I sound like a freak...

If I am coming on, all over the top, please feel free to tell me to STFU!

OMG!

I did it! I was trying to lose 2.1kg this week to take me to the magical 10kg loss. Those hard yards at the gym, and my discipline have paid off. 2.4kg lost this week!! That brings my total to 10.3kg gone for good!

I am ridiculously proud of myself, and feel amazing knowing that I now have the tools, the knowledge, and the drive to keep this weight off forever.

I don't exercise when I do night shifts, as I just know that I'm not going to feel like it. There's no point expecting that I will, because I just know that when I wake up I feel like I've been hit by a truck, and why set myself up for disappointment? I just make sure that I do the hard yards in the gym on the 5 days per week that I do get there. I'm planning to alternate a weekend of night shifts with a weekend of late shifts, so the impact of nights on my life is reduced. I find myself craving my gym time, and wonder who the hell is this girl??!!

I don't know if I posted this here, so excuse me if I did, I think I posted in the 12 wbt forum... Last week, I wandered through Target and on a whim, I picked out an entire outfit (jeans, shirt and jacket) in a size 14. I'd been a size 16, with the occasional need for an 18 (cringe) prior to starting this. I thought that I'd just buy this ensemble, and aim to fit into it in a few weeks time. When I got home, I couldn't help but try it on. OMG! It fit like a glove. I had thought that I'd buy a size 14 dress to wear to the finale party in Brisbane, but at this rate, I'll be fitting into a 12! Way better than sex, chocolate, fries or wine!! On the same note, the scrubs that I've been wearing to work were an XL. They got way too baggy, so I dragged out the L that fit me way back when I was doing Bootcamp regularly. Now these are too baggy, so I've ordered a Medium set. How cool is that???

Another Wednesday...

...another 1.6kg gone. Yay for me! The only thing that annoys me is that this takes my tally to 7.9kg (since May 23rd), and 8kg would have been such a nice round number!! Never mind. My goal is to lose 2.1kg next week, to get to the magical 10kg. To do this, I'm going to make sure that my gym sessions eat up 700cal +, and I'll cut out snacks.

I am loving this. I am ever so much looking forward to the finale party and training session in Brisbane.

I want to acknowledge the love and support I've been getting from my family, (not to mention my lone blog reader!!). It'd be a tough gig to be trying to do this without any support or encouragement. Steve has been amazing. He just keeps on surprising me!

Another weigh-in smashed!

Ooops, haven't updated the blog since last weigh in day. Got a bit busy with work and family, I guess.

The amazing news today is that I lost 1.6kg this week, taking my total since 23rd May, to 6.3kg, and I've lost 24cm off my measurements. My one month goal was to lose 5kg, and I've still got another week to go until it's a month!

In other news, I joined the gym and I'm loving it. I haven't done any classes yet, just used the cardio and weights equipment.

The food last week was a bit blah, but this week it's amazing. The whole family are loving most of them, which was a surprise to me. For the first few weeks I cooked separate meals for them and then for me. After them wanting what was on my plate more than their own meals, I'm just cooking clean for everyone now. Of course, they get all the little extras that are forbidden for me, like pasta, bread, extra sauce, etc.

I am blown away by just how much my mindset has changed. I don't want to sound all preachy, and as if I've joined a cult, but this new attitude will really see me get back to my goal and live happily there for the rest of my life!

xxx

Weigh in day

Weigh in was yesterday, and I lost another 1.7kg. Total of 4.7kg for me. Yay!

For the first time, this morning, I was lacking motivation to get out there and exercise. I've still got a bit of a cold, it's freezing outside, and it all just seemed too hard. I knew I needed some motivation, so I got onto the 12wbt forums, and got inspired again. I love the way the fellow 12wbt-ers give each other so much support and inspiration. I sucked it up, headed out into the cold, and did one of my best workouts ever. Came home and soaked in a Radox bath for a little while, and now I feel on top of the world. I would have sat at home, wallowing in guilt and laziness if I hadn't JFDI.

I'm cooking up a few batches of soup today. Both Mish-approved 12wbt soups. I am going to freeze them in individual portions, so that I will have a quick, handy sub-300 calorie meal ready to go for work days, or when the item on the 12wbt menu fails to entice me. It's all about being organised, and making plans for those days when I would otherwise fall into old habits (like when time is of the essence, or it's too late to cook etc).

I have had a bit of an issue with a sore knee over the past few weeks. Nothing serious, but it just grabs at me every now and then, especially on steps, or when I take off running on that leg. Happy to say that today, it didn't bother me once. I reckon it's the combination of less weight on it, and my upper leg muscles getting stronger, so they're taking some of the load.

I signed up at Fernwood yesterday. Going tomorrow morning for an orientation. I am looking forward to incorporating some classes into my week, and also to have the option to go use the equipment on cold or rainy days.

Week 3 Day 2

I'm still on track, and loving this new routine. I have a bit of a cold at the moment, but I'm doing my best to shake it off, and I haven't stopped training. The old me would have delighted in an excuse to slack off for a day or two, but all I can think about is losing my fitness, and a less impressive loss on the scales tomorrow! What a difference a few weeks makes!

The food menu this week is a little boring, and doesn't excite me as much as the last two weeks have done, but I'll plod along and hope for more yummy dishes next week.

I have been popping onto the scales every few days, which I know I said I wasn't going to do, but I just can't help myself! It backfired on me a couple of days ago, when I saw a gain, but the next time I weighed myself, the gain was gone, and then some. I guess that will teach me for being too obsessed.

I got through a night shift the other night, with no forbidden foods eaten. I was worried that I'd be tempted, as there are usually plates and platters of calorie-laden food laying around everywhere. I got through the night having eaten just one orange. Yay for me!

Tomorrow is weigh-in day. I'm very excited!!

Week 2 weigh in...

Drum roll please...

Today was the Week 2 weigh in, and my loss for this week was:

2.3kg!!

That's a total of 3kg since the program started 10 days ago. Yay

Who is this girl?

Had to check in again, if only so that I can look back and read this! You might want to lean in real close to the screen, 'cause I'm going to say this very quietly: I think I might be enjoying running. For real! Which leads me to ask, who is this girl, and where is the real Annie? Honestly... I wasn't really feeling the love this morning when I thought about exercise. It took a few internal "JFDI's" to get my runners on, and to get me out the door. First km or so, I was still grumbling internally. Finally, once I started on the open road, I looked ahead to a tree and told myself that I'd jog until I reached it. Then, once I reached it, I set out another marker. I outdid myself three times before my heart felt like it might effing explode! LOL Then, I walked for 40 seconds or so, then took off at a trot again. Most days so far, I've mostly walked with a couple of short runs in there. Today, I reckon the ratio was almost 50:50.

My goal is to jog 1km without stopping by the end of Week 4.

Week 2, Day 2

I feel like I'm really getting into the swing of this now, and hopefully starting to break some old habits and lay down some new ones. I haven't felt deprived of anything, or that I'm missing out. Having said that, I haven't yet had any social functions to attend, and this is where the temptation will test me.

When I got home from work at 10pm on the weekend, I would usually pour a glass of wine to help me unwind before bed, and I really missed that for a little while. I ended up making a Jarrah hot choc (within my calorie allowance) and found that it did just as good a job as the wine.

I find it amazing how much my body has already adapted to exercise! At the start of last week, once I got my HR up, it stayed up there for ages. Now, as I obviously get fitter, it's dropping back to normal very quickly when I slow down. This is good for my fitness, but not good for my calorie expenditure. I'm already having to work heaps harder to get the 500+ calories burned everyday. I really need to join a gym and do some classes, but need to wait until mid-June when we have some free $$. Hubby started a new job recently, and now gets paid monthly, so this is already testing us!! LOL

Being the wicked girl that I am, I snuck onto the scales yesterday morning, again! The official weekly weigh in is tomorrow, so I'll unveil the final figure then, but can I just say? Mish rocks, and I wonder why I didn't do this ages ago. I can't believe how many kgs I've smashed in the space of a week!!

Actually, I know why I didn't do this ages ago. I know it's all about "no excuses" and "taking responsibility", but honestly, I think each person needs to reach a point in their life where they are ready to take on something like this. When the reality of your physical self becomes too much to put up with... I have had Mish's Crunch Time book for about 6 months, but it all just seemed too hard, and she sounded too harsh for my liking. (LOL) Back in April, something clicked, and I just knew that I was ready, willing and able to do this.

I'll be back tomorrow with my Week 2 weigh in. I've had my yummy breakfast of Grated apple and ricotta on raisin toast, and mid morning I'm off to do my workout - today is toning, so just a 10 min powerwalk followed by some circuit work. Fricken burpees are on the agenda today. Groan...

Day 5

I couldn't help it. I felt so incredible, that I had to get on the scales again. Wow! Total of 1.6kg gone already. And so it should, I've been working out like a demon.

Today was pretty easy, just some Core work. It's weird, I almost feel like I haven't done enough, and feel tempted to do more, but as Mish said last night, in her live video feed, we need to stop overthinking it. Trust her, trust the program.

Besides, Saturdays are home to the SSS (Super Saturday Session) where she wants us to burn over 1000calories. Yikes! Considering how busy tomorrow is going to be, I'm going to have to get up super early to fit that in. I've mapped out an 8km route that I'm going to walk/jog. Hopefully, that'll take about 1.5hrs, and kill about 1000 calories. Then, it's off to watch kids sport, and then off to work. Joy, oh joy!

Day Four

I feel so amazing! I have exercised every day for four days, eaten 1200 calories or less for four days, and have had no alcohol or junk for four days. I have also lost 1kg in four days. Woo fricken hoo!

I mean, I knew this worked. We all know it works. I just had to get my head around it, and stop making excuses.

My favourite excuse was "I'm not as fat as her (random woman I see in the supermarket)" but, my friends, the proof was in the pudding when it came time to take a "Before" pic in my bra and undies. OMFG. Who is that bloated, sad, obese woman looking back at me??

The training has been do-able, if a little challenging. The endorphin rush, and the total calories lost after each session make it all worthwhile though. Not to mention the falling numbers on the scale. We are only supposed to weigh in every Wednesday, and since we started on a Monday, we were weighing in on the morning of day 3. I lost 700g, which didn't seem like a lot compared to some people (1.5 - 2.6kg in three days) but I'd just started my period on the Monday and I know that I can retain up to a litre of fluid at this time. Just to make sure everything was heading in the right direction, I got on the scales again this morning, and another 300g down, which brings my total to 1kg. I'll refrain from checking again until Wednesday (if I can!).

Breakfast: 2 slices wholegrain bread, toasted. Topped with cottage cheese mixed with fresh chives, tomato slices and rocket.

Lunch: Chicken noodle soup, with toasted bread (no butter). I didn't have the toast.

Tea: Chargrilled steak with corn and avocado salsa.

For snacks, I've had a tub of Forme yoghurt mid morning and mid arvo, just 'cause I love them, but the list of snacks is huge.

Today I did Mish's toning DVD, then went for a 1.5hr brisk walk.

I'm so pumped. I know there'll be times when I weaken and lack motivation, but I plan to listen to Mish's podcasts and videos on the 12wbt site when that happens. She's so motivating. I love the way she doesn't sugar coat anything. She tells us that we got ourselves into this mess, and only I can get myself out of it! So true.

xx

Here I go!

Hello! My name is Annie, I just turned 40, and I'm FAT. I never meant to get this large, but it happened, and I need to take full responsibility for it. I'm out of excuses, sick of feeling like this, and I think turning 40 was the turning point for me. I can either keep doing what I'm doing and stay miserable, or I can make changes, take responsibility for my actions, and do something about it.

Enter, Michelle Bridges and her 12 Week Body Transformation program. I signed up at the end of April, knowing that the program would start on the 23rd May. That allowed me to celebrate my 40th birthday (at the start of May) with no holds barred. I ate and drank whatever I wanted!!

I've had a go at a few things over the years: Weight Watchers, Bootcamp, Body Trim etc. They all worked in the short term, but I needed a program that covered all the bases. Food, Exercise, and the Mind. Mish's program fits the bill. In fact, in the few weeks leading up to "kick off" she set all sorts of Pre-Season tasks for me to complete, most of them dealing with the inner dialogue that goes on in my head, and the many, many excuses I can come up with for NOT doing this, or for allowing myself to eat THAT etc.

So, here goes. I hope to end the 12 weeks with a new frame of mind, a new body, feeling much fitter, and the tools to take me into my next 40 years with a much better attitude.