Wow, it's December!

My poor neglected blog...  I promise to get back into blogging.  I have 6 weeks annual leave from work just as soon as I finish the 3 nights I'm about to embark upon.  During that time, I'll keep you updated on my activities!

I need to fill in some space for you.  Last time I blogged, it was November!  I am at my goal weight, with a healthy BMI!!  Round 3 finished a couple of weeks ago, and last weekend we had the Group Workout and Finale party.  OMG, what a magical weekend it was!  I went to Sydney with a very special chick, who has been a part of my life for over 20 years now.  We have shared a lot of stuff, most relevant to this journey, we got fat together, and now we've lost it together too!  

In other exciting news, we both got a tattoo in Sydney!  We had initially planned on it, but then didn't think we'd have enough time.  As fate would have it, on the Friday after we landed, we wandered up the road to a wine bar (as you do!) and when we looked across the road, we saw the very Tattoo shop that we'd spoken about.  Fast forward 24 hours, after an exhilarating Group workout, we were there!

This is the end result...  I love it so much.  Mine is self explanatory, and my BFF's is the Libran symbol, which is all about balance.

I am tossing up whether to sign up for Round 1 2012.  If I do it, I'll be doing either Lean and Fit, or Lean and Strong.  I'm leaning towards L&S, as my knee is injured, and the idea of less cardio is appealing.  I'll make up my mind in the next few days, and if I commit to L&S, I'll lose another few kg over the "off season" so that my transformation into a "ripped machine" is more defined!

I'll leave you with a pic that we took with Mish.  We walked into the venue and saw Mish standing pretty much alone, so we wandered over, and I showed her my tattoo.   She said, "Holy shit, is that real?"  I assured her it was, and she touched it.  Then she let out a big breath and said, quietly, "Fuuuuuck".  Made me LOL.   And then we got this pic.  I love it!

Oooh, I forgot to add...

That my wedding and engagement rings fit me again!  I refused to get them resized, once I got too fat to wear them.   A few weeks ago, I tried them, and they fit but felt super tight.  A week ago, I put them on, and Hello!  They fit!  The Hubmeister reckons that this means that we are newlyweds again, and thus, we need to book in some newlywed action at every available opportunity!  I love that he now ogles me like he did when we were 20-somethings.  How exciting, to have found a new spark in a nearly 15 year old marriage!!

It's been a while!

Wow... my poor old blog!  I've neglected you, big time!  A lot has been happening, some good, some bad, some totally fricken awesome!

I did the 10km Fun Run!  I ran the whole way, and completed it with a very mediocre time, but it doesn't matter!  I felt 10 feet tall, and bulletproof as I crossed the finish line.  Very addictive stuff!  I have to share that, as I turned the corner and came into the home straight, with the finish line in sight, my iPod (which was on Shuffle) started playing Lady Gaga's "Edge of Glory" which has always been a very inspiring song for me.  I ran that last little bit with tears streaming down my face as I thought of everyone who had helped me to get this far.  People cheered as I crossed the line, and one sweet stranger came up and high-fived me, and I knew I'd startle her if I turned around and hugged her, but that's what I felt like doing.  At many points during the run, I thought about stopping to walk for a while.  Especially, when some moron volunteer announced that I'd just passed the halfway point (and I was soooo sure I was closer to finishing than that!).  Whenever I thought about walking, I imagined Mish was beside me, telling me that I could slow to a shuffle, but I was not to stop, under any circumstances.  I also thought of all the beautiful members of my support crew, who have encouraged me along the way.  A comment here and there, an email, my amazing hubby who has allowed me to take all the time I need to get to this point, etc.  My middle son, did the 5km run, so we bonded over the run, got to share the emotion and all the hype!  Not to mention the training that we did together.  Well, sort of together... he's pretty fast, so I chose to run around the lake with him, so that he could dash off ahead and I could still keep an eye on him!

The race was on Sunday, and on Tuesday I went to see a physio about some knee pain that had been bothering me for months.  As a nurse, I usually go in with "worst case scenario" in my head.  This time, I thought it was minor.  He informed me that he thinks it's a meniscal tear, which could require surgery, and 6 weeks of rest.  OMG!  I'm not convinced, and am waiting on an MRI to either confirm or deny.  I'm just having to be creative with my training in the meantime.

My weight loss has slowed a bit, and I'm sure that this comes from getting uber close to goal, and I've allowed a few treats to sneak in here and there.  I still have my eyes on the prize, and nothing will stop me from getting there, but I'm happy to just cruise into goal now, as I'm super happy with my weight and the way I look.

The next step is the INK.  OMG!  I hate tattoos.  As a nurse, I've seen a lot of them, and most of them are pretty fricken ridiculous.  The most freaky one was when we were wrapping up someone who had died, and he had a date tattooed on his ankle.  The date was exactly 30 years prior to the date of his death.  <insert spooky music>  However, I want and need a permanent reminder of what I did to myself to get obese, and what I did to earn it all back again.  Something permanent to remind me that I'm never going back there, and that I'm so proud of myself for regaining control.  Stay tuned!  I'll share a pic when it's done.  My BFF, who has walked many a mile in my shoes, both the heavy and the HOT, is going to share the whole inking thing with me, and I can't wait!!

The last 5kg!

I'm finally there!  I have less than 5kg to go until my goal weight.  4.8kg to be exact.  It's so close now!!   I lost 2.4kg this week, but a good deal of that is probably due to the gastro that I had yesterday.  Ugh, it wasn't fun.  Two of my kids have had it this week, so I should have expected it.  I don't usually pick up gastro though, and I reckon I've only had two bouts of it as an adult.  Yesterday's was a ripper.  The kind where you lie motionless because as soon as you move, the room spins, your bowel cramps and your stomach starts to heave.  I had a few hours around dinner time where I thought I was on the mend, but as I lay on the couch to watch Rafters, it all came rushing back.  Vomiting violently whilst sitting on the loo is NO fun!  Anyway, it meant that the scales were very kind to me today.  I'll just have to work hard this week to make sure that next weigh in isn't disappointing.  LOL

I had a huge milestone achievement this week.  I bought some gorgeous bathers online, which is always risky.  When they got here, I tried them on and not only did they fit perfectly, they are very flattering and I would actually feel very confident wearing them in public, with no need for board shorts or any "disguises"!  I bought a cute little "cover up" thingy to wear over them to and from the pool/beach, and all in all, I'm thrilled with them.  Usually wearing bathers is an exercise in self-loathing.  Not anymore!

PB!

Tonight i ran for 8km on the treadmill!  I never thought I could run 200 metres, let alone 8km!  I just love it, and my body is adapting, the clever thing!  I used to be really sore after a long run, but this past week?  Nothing!  I think my body is expecting it.  I've asked a lot from it in the past few months.  I'm like, "Yeah, I know I've sat you on the couch for the past 12 years, and I've fed you whatever we felt like, and never got above a slow walk, but, hey, how about we NOW get moving again and I'm gonna deny you anything that you're craving".  My body has risen to the challenge, and I'm so proud of it!

I'm going to slowly up the distance, as I head into my Fun Run season.  I have the Bendigo Bank 10km at  the end of Oct, the City to Sea in Nov, and I'm doing a 6km run in January.  I can't describe the way I feel when I run.  I think it's just that I've always aspired to be a "runner".  I love the lean, fit physique that runners have, as well as the awesome feeling that it must be to know that your body is capable of covering such distance.

I'm keen to weigh in on Wednesday.  I've lost 5kg thus far into my second round of 12wbt.  I'd lost more at this point last round, but I realise that it gets harder to lose it, as you get fitter and closer to your goal.  My goal is at the upper end of my healthy BMI.  I could probably lose more past this point, but if it happens, it happens.  I'm not gonna get stupid about it.  I already feel amazing, but don't want to use that as an excuse.

I'm gonna do 50 laps of the pool tomorrow.  My hubby told me tonight that his PB was 60 laps.  Of course, I aim to beat that, in a few weeks!  I used to swim all the time before I had kids, and I loved it.  My gorgeous daughter has been churning up the laps with me, over the school holidays.  I hope that, when she's old enough, we'll be going to the gym together.

Yay!

I mentioned a plateau-buster in my last post.  Woo Hoo.  2.1kg gone this week.  I knew it!  I was feeling very trim, very bony etc.  I am loving my time at the gym, and when people mention that it's not "sustainable" I have to question why they say that.  Some days I'm only there for an hour, other days I'm there for 4 hours.   I only work two days per week, and my kids are all at school.  I have time on my hands, so what else would I be doing.  Housework?  Overrated!  Making cards?  Haven't done that since May, don't miss it.  I find that if I put the effort in when I have the time, I'm a much nicer, happier, fitter person when I'm  not there!

I need to vent about my MIL.  She seems to be my biggest saboteur.  I know she'd be horrified to hear that, but it's true.  When I'd lost 8kg, with 27kg+ to go, she was telling me to stop!  A few days ago, she was coming around to pick up my kids for an sleepover.  She's wonderful to me, in so many ways, and yet....  I answered the door in my gym gear, as I was going there as soon as the kids were picked up.  Her reaction.  She laughed hysterically.  And laughed and laughed and laughed.  She said, "Sorry, but you're looking too 'sporty'".  I didn't respond (as I was pissed off) and she admitted that it made her feel bad to see me looking so fit, she felt bad that she wasn't.  Finally!  She admitted what I suspected all along.  Don't bother to project you issues onto me, I'm finally dealing with my own issues, and I'm doing quite nicely, thank you!

Summer is looming...

...bring it! I used to hate summer. Combine baring rolls of flab with horrid chafing = nightmare for the fat girl. This year, I'm craving some warm weather. I now feel the cold, I have a body that I'm happy to bare, and I hope that my chafing thighs are a thing of the past. I have yet to test this theory, so stay tuned! I had a very small loss last week, and was feeling crap. However, this week I have fitted into previously too tight clothing, and have had a lot of "have you lost more weight?" comments. I'm hoping that my mega exercise regime has finally smashed this plateau in the arse. I soo love my hubby. He told me that it's like he's having an affair, with a hot new chick. However, his "smokin ' new date" is his wife of nearly 15 years! Last night I was cutting some moves on the dance floor, while he watched. Later, he told me that I have "awesome back muscles". I never thought to look there! Last time I looked, I had back fat, so I'm very pleased. I love my new life. Honestly, nothing tastes as good as "fit" feels. Stuff skinny, I just wanna be lean and fit.

PS

I discovered today, that I need a mat beneath me when I stretch or do Pilates.  My newfound bones dig into the floor and actually hurt.

Woo fricken hoo!

Rockstar!!

That's me.  I'm a Rockstar!  4 months ago, I joined the gym, aiming to do some classes in order to mix it up a bit.  It took me another month to actually summon up the nerve to walk into the group fitness classroom, and then it was with a girlfriend at my side.

Today, for my SSS, I went in there, with two GF's, to do 4 classes back to back.  I woke up this morning feeling a bit nervous.  What was I on about?  It was easy.  Well, maybe not easy.  I had sweat slicking my  hair to my neck, and I couldn't feel my toes at one point.  However, we proved that we are strong, capable women who can do anything we put our minds to.  4.10 hrs later, and 1523 calories gone.

My next milestone is to conquer the 10km Fun Run at the end of October.  2 weeks after that I have a 14km run in Melbourne.

Who knew that this couch potato would be putting herself out there and living an active life?

I sort of thought that everyone was used to my new self, but today, 4 different people asked me if I'd lost more weight.  I can feel my face is more defined, and I think that my boobs are finally shrinking.  I'm still a bit sick of defending myself.  People keep asking if I'm done losing weight, and I smile firmly and tell them that my BMI still classes me as "overweight".  I need to stop listening to these people.  Even my gorgeous hubby asked me if I only had "about 2 more kilos" to lose.  Bwahahahaha.  No, my love.  Try 11kg.  Compared to where I was, I would probably be happy here, but since I'm such an "all or nothing" sort of person, I strive to achieve my goal.  And achieve it, I will!

I was rude...

... to my mother-in-law!

I sorta knew it was coming.  I hadn't seen her since late June, so I'd only lost 9kg or so.  She told me back then that I "didn't need to lose any more weight". Hello 22+kg and I knew she'd have something to say.  Predictably, she marveled at my weight loss, then told me to stop now.  When I said that I still have a way to go, she gave me the deep, intense eye contact stare, and said, "Really?".  As though I have  a problem!  I matched her stare and said, "Really!  I'm still overweight, according to my BMI.  When I get back to "normal", I'll be sure to let you know, and then I'll stop losing and start maintaining".

Honestly...  I know that it's more about her issues than mine.  I also know that, due to loose clothing, some people didn't realise that I have so much weight to lose.  However, I am pretty fricken far from anorexic.  Check in with me when my collar bones can shave ice.  Then we'll talk.  At the moment, I'm flat out rediscovering those bad boys!

Oh no!

So, after a few niggling aches and pains, I think that the time has come to seek treatment, and that I might actually be injured.  Goddamit!  I've been ramping up the running program for the past 6 weeks.  I did the C25K up until Week 5, and once I could run for 20 mins straight, I put myself onto the EI10K in order to prepare for the 10km run that I was "bullied" into signing up for!  That's on Oct 30th, so I need to get cracking.

Today was such a beautiful day that I decided to go run outdoors.  I need to do more of these, as running on the treadmill is SOOOO much easier than actually running outside in the real world.  Yesterday at the gym I noticed a pain in my left shin as I ran.  It went away very quickly after stopping, so I didn't give it another thought.  Today, when I ran outside, it nearly crippled me.  I kept going, to a degree, then decided to just power walk the rest of the run.  I still did 9.5km in total, and burnt a load of calories, but I'm concerned.

I've had shin splints before, and this feels different.  I'm going to run in the pool tomorrow, to give it a rest.  I might even try to cut a few laps!  I used to swim, swim, swim, but the last time I tried it, I was fat and unfit and nearly died halfway down the 50m lane.  I'll be interested to see how I go, actually.

Hopefully, it's just a teething pain and with a couple of days of rest, it'll settle down.  I, perhaps, need to remember that I am 40 now, and not a teenager anymore, regardless of how amazing I feel these days.  Most "older" people I hear about who run, say that they need a rest day in between runs in order to avoid injury.  Why did I think I could run 6 days per week?

I hope that the rest of my 12wbt family had great results today.  I dropped a further 1.4kg and am thrilled.  I thought that I had 15kg to go to my goal, but due to pre-season and my ingrained exercise habits, I've only got 11.9kg to go!

I'll try to run again on Friday.  If it's still bad, I'll go back to the awesome Sport's Physio that I saw a couple of years ago when I had a stress fracture in my foot.  He'll sort me out!

My brain needs to keep up!

So, the other day I stumbled across a very quirky, gorgeous dress online.  I thought to myself that this would be an awesome dress to wear to my gorgeous friend's 40th birthday on October 1st.  So, I bought it.  After checking the sizing guidelines, but failing to check measurements, I ordered the L.

It arrived yesterday, and I love it.  Finally got around to trying it on today and it's too big.  It will be horrendously too big by October 1st.  I'll have to send it back!  It's such a beautiful dress that I doubt if they'll have any M available.  But I'll try.

My brain needs to stop thinking that I'm the big girl.

Who knew??

That I could take the "Advanced option" in all my  classes??  I certainly didn't know!

Tonight, at Step, the instructor was demonstrating some VERY high impact stuff.  As a group, we must have looked like stunned mullets, as she asked WTF was going on!  Once I believed in myself and gave it a shot, I was very comfortable with it.  So far removed from the old me!

I am absolutely loving Step classes.  I loved them back when I was a skinny biartch, and I now love them again.  Massive calorie burner, and sometimes I feel like I'm at a nightclub, dancing my arse off!

Step and running have been my new addictions.  I ran 5.3km on the treadmill tonight, before my two classes.  I am slow.  Mega slow, but that can only improve. I ran with a friend on Saturday, and I blamed the alcoholic drinks I'd had the night before as my excuse, but now I reckon that I burnt out, as she was just a lot faster than me.  I will improve, but at the moment, I'm just trying to cover the distance.  I'm currently running at 8.0km/hr for 40 mins.  I hope to get to 10kms under 60 mins eventually.  Dear Lord, I remember when I couldn't even run for 60 seconds without feeling like I was gonna die!

Round 3... let's go!

I am so super pumped for Round 3, 2011.  It started today.  I was a tiny bit slack in between the two rounds (food, didn't slack off on exercise for one second), but I'm back baby!  I used to wear scrubs at work that were a size XL.  I bought a Medium size a while ago, but they only arrived 2 weeks ago.  The top was fine, but the bottoms were a little snug.  This week, they are loose.  Love it!

I am increasing my running distance, gradually, and I feel like my running sessions are giving me the best results to date.  I also love me a BodyStep class.  I had a friend stop me, mid sentence, last week to comment on my calves!  I was rapt.  I also am loving the very new sensation of feeling my bones re-emerge.  Can't wait for December/late Nov, when I reach my goal.  I might be "done" with the 12wbt by then, or I may have become more addicted and feel the need to enrol in Lean and Strong.  Doubt it though, as I'd rather be fit than ripped!  Never say never!

Wow!

Round 3 of the 12wbt will start on Monday, and I'm so excited!  I did my fitness test today, and I was absolutely blown away.  When I started Round 2, I couldn't run for 60 seconds without stopping, gasping!  I did 45 seconds as my wall-sit.  I think I did 12 push ups.  I did 8 mins 45 seconds as my 1km time trial.

At Week 8, my results told me that I was now "Intermediate".  At the Finale workout, they asked for people from Intermediate to try out "Advanced".  NO WAY!  Today, just 4 weeks after that day, I did another Fitness Test.  OMG, I'm "Advanced" in every category.  My daughter was blown away, as I did it with her last time.  She couldn't believe how quickly I'd advanced.

Having said that, I've been busting my butt at the gym 6 days per week, and I've earned this.  It still seems weird, as I've never been "athletic" or "fit".  I'm the girl who can't run, and is a couch potato in my head.

I'm very proud of the fact that, as a 40 year old (did I say that out loud??) I'm fitter than I was at 30.  Even 25 perhaps?  I was skinny at 25, but not fit.

In other news, I'm over my rant from the other day.  Their problem.  This is MY journey, not theirs.  I also need to let it go when I hear of people who are doing the 12wbt but are not prepared to do it properly.  That's their issue, not mine.

My tally is standing at 21.3kg lost as of yesterday.  My confidence is soaring, my self esteem is back where it should be, and I feel pretty fricken amazing!  I like what I see in the mirror, and more importantly, I FEEL great.  No more breathlessness on stairs, my resting heart rate is bradycardic, and (apart from some training aches and pains) I feel like  a teenager!  WTF didn't I do this years ago?  Because I wasn't ready to hear it.  That's why.  

Grrrrr

I'm feeling a little cranky today.  I guess it had to come, but I wasn't prepared for this just yet...  I'm starting to get loads of comments about how I "surely don't need to lose any more weight".  In the scheme of things, it's sort of a compliment I guess, but it makes me feel angry.  I know that it's more about the person who says it than it is about me (ie, their own body image issues) but I am getting sick of it.

Here are the facts.  Yes, I've lost 20kg.  BUT, I was 35kg overweight for God's sake.  You do the math.  My BMI still puts me in "Overweight" category.  

So, I don't care if me losing weight is confronting to anyone else, I'm going to keep going until my BMI within the healthy weight range.

Vent over...  back to normal transmission...

20kg gone, and 10 years, apparently!

I've reached a big milestone!  20kg gone!  I used to imagine what it would be like to wear nice clothes, like who I saw in the mirror, reclaim my life... now I'm doing all those things and more.

I worked tonight, and worked with a colleague who I haven't seen in a while.  As soon as she walked into the tea room, her jaw literally dropped and she said, "Fark (she's Irish!) what's going on?  You're fading away!".  I told her what I'd been doing, and she was so thrilled for me.  She kept staring at me over the next 8 hours, and at the end of the shift, she came up and hugged me and said that I look at least 10 years younger.  I was blown away, and a bit emotional!

I don't know if I've mentioned here, but I a month or so ago, I signed up for a FunRun sponsored by my employer.  I was going to sign up for the 5km run, but a colleague talked me into signing up for the 10km.  At the time I thought it was ages away and I'd be right.  I really only started taking running seriously after I did this.  In the past few weeks, I've had my doubts that I'd be able to do it, even though I kept feeling stronger and stronger with my running.  I've heard many people say that running on the treadmill is much easier than road running, so I was doubting myself.  Today, it was such a glorious day here, that I thought it'd be the perfect day to get outdoors and run.  I mapped out a 7km course via the website MapMyRun.  I totally amazed myself by being able to run it, non-stop!  Took me a bit over 50 mins.  And I was worried that I couldn't run 10 mins!!  The longer I ran, the more empowered and pleased with myself I was, so I just kept going.  I am in no danger of breaking any land-speed records, but I did it!

Wow, I'm a runner!

I've been doing the C25k running program for a few weeks now, and today's run called for 20 whole minutes of running - no walking in between. I've never done that before- the most I'd done prior to today was 8 mins at a time. I was thinking that I'd struggle... Guess what? I smashed it! Felt so comfortable and easy that I actually managed 28 mins before I did 1 minute of walking, then ran for another 10! OMG! I feel 10 foot tall and bullet-proof tonight!

Hello triceps!

Wow... Upped my weights at gym yesterday and my triceps are killing me today. Either that, or it was the "speed ball" moves in Body Combat that have made me wake up sore.

The bloody scales didn't move today. :-( Don't know if it was the wine last week, or maybe just a bit of a plateau. Either way, I'm glad they didn't move up! Just have to keep putting one foot in front of another and be super clean with my eating.

Totally pumped!

So, after coming home from the high of the Finale party and workout, I have to admit that I let my guard down a bit. I don't think it shows on the scales, but I had 3 nights in a row where I drank wine after dinner. Not large amounts, but all of a sudden I stopped and realised that I was becoming complacent and starting to let old habits drift back in.

I stopped right then, and won't let that nasty little habit back in, thank you very much.

I was feeling positive about Round 3, which starts in September, but was lacking the absolute excitement and focus that I had prior to Round 2. I guess I was too caught up in celebrating my losses in Round 2, to look forward to the task ahead. Then, last Friday, something just clicked. Unlike last Round, when I was uncertain that I would stick to it, get results etc, this time I'm going into it KNOWING exactly what I have to do to reach my goal. AND I'm going into it a totally different person than I was last time. This time, I'm happy, positive, empowered and like what I see in the mirror.

My husband has been my biggest supporter - always allowing me time to train, day and night. Today, he saw me wearing my new 3/4 jeans and fist pumped the air, announcing "She's back, baby!" He's so sweet...

I'm eating clean, training like a mongrel, and I'm so excited to jump into the next 14 weeks!